I am a little bee in the ocean of flowers, looking for the pollens of wisdom, and spreading them. How many of you are aware of self compassion? Do we truly understand it and implement it in our daily lives? Think about it…
So what do I mean by Self Compassion?
To me self-compassion signifies Openly Observing our thoughts and actions, specially the ones which cause disturbing feelings of guilt, anger or fear, and realizing that I am much significant than the thought or feeling.
Most of us, in our day-today lives, operate on an autopilot mode. This means we think and act reflexively or automatically day in and day out, based on repetitive reaction. The auto-pilot mode is good as long as it helps me in getting efficient in repetitive tasks and helping me meet MY daily objectives. The other aspect of auto-pilot mode is that I may simply overlook the PRESENT and the OPTIONS in it. Sometimes, operating in the autopilot mode makes it difficult to observe MY own thoughts, dispassionately (as a third person). This makes it even more difficult to practice OPEN observation.
A lack of self-compassion leads to JUDGING our own thoughts, LABELLING them as either good, bad or ugly. Let us understand how to come out of the judgemental and negative autopilot mode?
1. Focusing on what’s around me, and using all my senses brings me to the PRESENT moment and helps me “SIMPLY OBSERVE”, what’s going outside and in my mind as well and do away with the pain of judging.
2. Sometimes, just looking at myself in the mirror and smiling helps to come into the present and dis-associate from the intensity of the thought or feeling.
3. Pondering over questions such as “What is this thought or feeling trying to convey?” “Where did it originate”, etc. also enable us to trickle in self compassion into the situation.
See if these asking these questions is of help, in coming to the PRESENT and generating compassion
· How would someone else (people who inspire me), react to the same situation?
· Is the issue so grave, as it seems?
· What causes this thought or feeling or what caused this action?
· Whatever it is, is it bigger than my LIFE?
· Is my Belief or assumption taking me in the direction I WANT to go?
· Is my action worth the wellbeing of my friend/ partner/ colleague?
What if these questions do not hit at the right moment?
Sometimes it’s very hard to even think of these questions, depending on the severity of anger or fear or self-doubt that is hiding as a belief somewhere in our subconscious.
A viable solution to such a situation would be to simply acknowledge the emotion that is showing up and say to yourself, “Let’s TALK it out“…
Another possible solution could be to pen down your emotions. This process helps not only to express but also OBSERVE our emotions from a distance.
Idea behind the process of Self Compassion
The major advantages of following this process are manifold. Some desired outcomes are:
· Practicing self-compassion in order to feel better and in control of a situation.
· Failure can arouse concern, but understanding the drawbacks of self-doubt or anxiety. Practicing self-compassion helps and enables us to recognize a higher potential.
· Sometimes, teaching the same concept to another person helps to see yourself from a distance, and IMPROVE your self-image.
Finally, all this ACKNOWLEDGEMENT, CURIOSITY, ASKING and EXPRESSING are acts of self-compassion which tend to relax my mind and see the same situation from a fresh perspective.
· The idea is to simply GIVE YOUR BEST RESPONSE, after reflecting and then choosing your response